


A Renperor Scorned

by FelixAzrael



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angry Kissing, Angry Kylo Ren, Angry Sex, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Dominant Kylo Ren, Dominant Rey, Eventual Sex, F/M, Hell hath no fury like a Renperor scorned, Hoe - Freeform, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Possessive Kylo Ren, Renperor, Rey the Last Jedi, Submissive Kylo Ren, Submissive Rey, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, The Jedi Killer is in love with the Last Jedi, angry rey, it's lonely at the top
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2019-02-20 10:04:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13144359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FelixAzrael/pseuds/FelixAzrael
Summary: Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is back on his A game after the scavenger shut the door on him. But it's lonely at the top and hell hath no fury like a Renperor scorned.Eventual smut. Some crack with the plot. Okay, a lot of crack with the plot.





	1. Damage Control

 

Chapter 1: Damage Control

 

Lieutenant Mitaka cleared his throat. “Sir?”

 

“What is it?”

 

Mitaka gulped and handed his data pad over to the general. “You might want to have a look at this.”

 

General Hux braced himself.

 

“As you know, we advised Supreme Leader Ren of our military opinion—“

 

“I know, I’m the one who advised…” Hux’s snapping trailed off as he scanned the data pad. “Is he serious?”

 

“I assume so, Sir?”

 

Hux glared down at the pad. “Son of a bitch.”

___

 

“As you know, Madam,” Hux addressed the reporter. He hoped he looked confident, but could feel that he was sweating balls on galactic holovision. “The First Order does not condone that type of action. When Supreme Leader Ren made that statement on Twitter, what he meant was—“

 

“General, I’m not sure what other interpretation could be attributed to the words, ‘I’LL DESTROY EVERY STAR SYSTEM IN THE GALAXY ONE BY ONE UNTIL THE SCAVENGER RETURNS TO OUR ROYAL SUITE’.”

 

The Supreme Leader’s tweet along with a shirtless photograph of him appeared on the reporter’s screen.

 

Hux loosened his collar and swallowed. 

 

The reporter leaned in and whispered, “General. Is the Supreme Leader of the First Order, the Jedi Killer himself, having an affair with the Rebellion’s last Jedi? The _garbage picker_ from Jakku?”

 

Hux’s left eye twitched. A part of him desperately wanted to exclaim, _No, because even a trash picker wouldn’t pick Ren!_ The general swallowed again. “It would be unprofessional for me to discuss hearsay.”

 

“YES AND I _LOVE_ HER!” screeched Ren from Hux’s commlink.

 

The reporter raised a brow at the general.

 

Hux kept his face impassive. “Hearsay.”

___

 

“AAAAAAAHHHH!!!!” Rey screeched a war cry as she beat the stuffing out of the tenth training target with her staff, imagining Supreme Leader Kylo Ren’s big stupid Byronic bad boy face in its stead.

 

“Is she okay?” Rose asked, rubbing at her itching bandages. “Should I— go see if—“

 

“Hell no. Trust me — when she’s like this it’s best to leave well enough alone. And leave your stitches alone too - they’ll get infected.”

 

“Aw, thanks Dad.” Rose rolled her eyes and punched her boyfriend’s arm.

 

“Careful. You say that shit three times in a row, it’ll appear on Tumblr.”

 

“What?”

 

“Don’t ask.”

 

“Hate! Hate! HATE! HAAAAAATE!” screeched Rey, throwing down her staff.

 

“Woah there, peanut. Talk it out. Breathe, like Master Skywalker taught you.”

 

Rey cut Finn a look.

 

He raised his hands defensively. “Or don’t. Hate is… hate is healthy! Totally not the path straight to the dark side at all.”

 

“I’ll show _him_ the dark side!” Rey stormed toward her quarters, the ground crackling beneath her feet.

 

“Are you sure she’ll be okay?” asked Rose.

 

Finn sighed. “Eventually.”

 

___

 

Rey had the shower as hot as it would go, steam pooling into the fresher.

 

“How very dare he— Fuck Kylo Ren!” she slammed her fist against the wall.

 

“Speak of the devil…” a deep, alluring voice shimmered through the bond she shared with Ren. She sensed his presence and spun around. Kylo leaned casually against the wall, his eyes roving appreciatively over Rey’s body. “And he shall appear.”

 

“Get. Out.”

 

A sinister smile spread over his thick, moist lips. “No.”

 

She slammed the faucet off and wrapped a towel around herself. “I said get the fuck out.”

 

He stepped closer to her in response and removed his gloves. 

 

“What— what are you—?”

 

“You’ve been dreaming of me.” He stepped closer to her.

 

“I haven’t—“

 

“You have,” he purred. 

 

So now he could see her dreams too. Fantastic. And he was using it in an attempt to simultaneously seduce and intimidate her, throw her off her game. Well, two could play at that one. She stepped into his space now. “Yes,” she breathed. “I have been dreaming of you, Ben Solo. Dreaming of strangling the life out of you.”

 

He leaned in, a breath away from her lips, and whispered, “Such dark emotions for such a sweet, pure Jedi role model. Your hands around my throat while you ride my big dark side cock? I like the sound of that.”

 

Her cheeks grew fiery hot and a familiar sensation, the one she had first felt on Ahch-To when he looked into her eyes and admitted he was a monster, pooled in her most intimate of places.

 

He stared into her hazel eyes. His coloring suddenly changed and she felt his lips nearly grazing her own. His hands found her hip and lower back as he pulled her closer to his very real, corporeal body.

 

“Stop doing that — you’ll kill yourself from the effort!” she shrieked.

 

He faded back from his astral projection to simply using their bond, a dopey and self-satisfied smile spreading over his face. “So you do care.”

 

“I do not!”

 

He raised a brow and smiled in response, his dark eyes boring into hers, searching for something… and when he’d found what he was looking for… “I know what I saw when we first touched.”

 

“Don’t you dare talk about that night!” she spit, her eyes watering.

 

“You will stand by me,” he whispered, the same look in his eyes as when he’d spoken to her in the elevator on the Supremacy. “And you’ll speak the words that are already in your eyes, that were in your eyes then — that in spite of your better judgment you’re desperately in love with me.”

 

“I hate you, Ben Solo,” she hissed.

 

He winced at the sting, but only momentarily before he shrugged and put his mask of smug indifference back on. “Two sides of the same coin.”

 

He held her gaze for a few moments more before turning, his cape fit for an Emperor swinging dramatically behind him, and looked back at her over his shoulder once more. “Now if you’ll excuse me, my lady, I have to take care of something that’s popped up.”

 

He punctuated his one liner with a last eyefuck and wink, causing her to drop her towel and rush toward him in a screaming fury. But by the time she made it, the bastard had vanished. 


	2. Recruiting Duty

Chapter 2: Recruiting Duty

 

Finn cleared his throat then rapped at the door. Rose nervously adjusted her vest.

 

The door slid open, revealing a middle aged Twi-Lek mom in a cooking apron.

 

“Hello!” Finn and Rose began with huge, winning smiles.

 

“We were wondering if you had a moment to talk about our saving grace, the Rebellion—“

 

_WHAM!_

 

“Can we at least leave some pamphlets?!” Rose called.

 

“No!” came a voice from inside the house.

 

Rose and Finn exchanged a look.

 

“Okay then,” said Rose. “Next house?”

 

“Are you kidding me right now? That was the tenth one in a row.”

 

“We can’t give up hope.”

 

“We’ve been out all morning and it’s freezing out here. I know you want to save what we love, but have you ever considered that might just involve us — I dunno — running away to a remote planet together until this whole First Order versus Rebellion thing straightens itself out?”

 

Rose glared at her boyfriend. “I’m going to see how successful the droids have been. Maybe they could use my help.”

 

Finn threw his arms up as his girlfriend stomped toward the droids. “Hey, come on! Don’t leave me alone out here for Trashcan and Goldenrod!”

 

Artoo and Threepio met Finn chasing after Rose at the village center. Artoo was already bitching in astromech at Threepio.

 

“Well, I tried to tell you, the chances of successfully recruiting anyone to the Rebellion were three thousand eight hundred—“

 

“SHUT UP, THREEPIO!” Finn, Rose, and even Artoo chorused.

 

Even Rose had to sigh. “Why is this starting to feel like we’re suffering through  _Frozen_  just to get to  _Coco_?”

 

Finn crossed his arms. “Hey. Fuck off with that. We are not the  _Frozen_  before the  _Coco_.”

 

“Well, we’re not exactly the spark that lights the fire under the ass that joins the Rebellion either, now are we?”

 

“Hey. We are providing an important part of the plot that will tie in thematically with whatever the hell Rey is doing in her quarters with Kylo Ren.”

 

Finn and Rose looked at each other for a long moment.

 

“We haven’t been on a third date yet - I’m not sleeping with you.”

 

Finn put his hands up innocently. “I was not asking for that I couldn’t agree more it’s way too soon you’re cute and worth the wait—“

 

“We could go back to base and make out though.”

 

Finn grinned. “I like that idea.”

 

“Make out?” Threepio’s tinny voice chimed in. “I’m not sure what that means but if I can be of any assistance—”

 

“Leave them alone, cockblocker!” Artoo beeped.

 

“Well, really!”

____

 

At last, a night to herself. As much as she enjoyed spending time with her rebel friends, there had been something oddly comforting about the time she often spent alone on Jakku. Tonight it was just her, her bunk, and a trash gossip magazine for company. Even if she couldn’t sleep, she could at least veg out.

 

Just when she was about to find out who Admiral Ackbar had been having a scandalous affair with, Rey heard the familiar Parseltongue that always arrived before the snake.

 

“What is it now, Kylo?” She flipped nonchalantly through her trash magazine.

 

“You’ve been lonely. Desperate to sleep again. I can feel it.”

 

“I’m sure I’ll manage.”

 

“Why not come share our bed?”

 

She refused to look up. “Oh did you move another twin bed into your dorm room? Do I get the one under the Smashing Pumpkins or Evanescence poster?”

 

He gritted his teeth. “It’s under the mirror you’re going to look up at while I fuck you senseless.”

 

“My my, does the big bad Renperor have a big boy bed now? Does it have Darth Vader sheets?” She couldn’t help but smile when she felt his petulant anger growing through their bond.

 

“Come on over. You can find out when I shove your face into them, Jedi.”

 

She allowed herself to put her magazine down and look up. Sure enough, there he was in a Renperor sized bed, complete with black silk sheets and luxuriously soft looking pillows. His bare, pale chest stood out against the sheets that barely covered his pelvis and did nothing to hide the tent that was rapidly rising.

 

She uncovered, letting him see her t-shirt and the shorty shorts that served as her pajamas and began to crawl toward him on all fours.

 

“Maker, Rey,” he gasped.

 

She crawled atop him, startling the Supreme Leader so badly he backed into his own pillows.

 

Her coloring changed under his cool lighting as she apparated in his bedroom and shoved her clothed pussy against his bulge. “I can’t wait to invite Jedi Knight Ben Solo into my bed. I want him to fuck my mouth. My pussy. My a—“

 

He growled and flipped her onto her back, pinning her hands above her head. “Be very careful what you wish for, Jedi.”

 

She patted his cheek and licked his ear, whispering, “You know nothing, Ben Solo. No one has sex before marriage in  _Star Wars_.”

 

He gripped her hips and ground into her, letting her feel his bulging dick against her clothed pussy and ass.

 

“Maker,” she sighed.

 

He could feel her arousal through their bond.

 

“Fuck Disney and fuck Lucasfilm,” he rasped into her ear. “They changed the game when they had you canonically soaking wet for my monstrous Dark Side Dick on that island.”

 

“I was not—“

 

“Yes, you were. It got all over my mouth and fing—!”

 

She grasped his face in both hands and kissed him. Hard.

 

He melted, one hand sliding seamlessly into her chestnut tresses, the other running over her clothed midriff toward her hip, pulling her body closer to him.

 

“Rey,” he whispered as he nipped and sucked a trail from the shell of her pixieish ear all the way down her jawline and neck. “Oh Rey…”

 

She found herself wrapping her legs around his waist, raking her nails across his sensitive back, desperate for friction through her damp shorts. “Ben…”

 

She glanced up and noticed the mirror above his bed, how small she looked pinned beneath Ben Solo. Kylo Ren. Supreme Leader of the galaxy. Master of the Knights of Ren. The Jedi Killer who regularly claimed he was going to “destroy her pussy!”.  _So he wasn’t full of shit about wanting her to watch him fuck her…_

 

“Of course I wasn’t.” He sucked her earlobe and hooked his fingers into the band of her shorts, beginning to peel them down.

 

“Ben… we can’t…”

 

“Then watch me taste you, Rey. I bet you’re delicious.” He slid a hand beneath her shirt, grasping a handful of breast and sighing.

 

“We can’t yet — it’s not time. You're not on the right side yet.”

 

He rolled off her and pulled the sheet over his raging dick. “Why are you trying to be a role model anyway? You owe them nothing. The Rebellion. The social justice warriors. The Jedi Council Forums. As soon as they accept my shirtless scene was because you want to fuck me, they’ll throw you away.”

 

“They won’t.”

 

“They will. You know it's true.”

 

She got out of his bed, adjusting her shorts and shirt, and stopped the projection, her coloring changing back to the warm light of her own room as she glared at him. She stuck the knife where it hurt. “Funny. You sound exactly like your father.”

 

He jumped out of bed and stalked toward her. “Damn it, Rey! You’re still holding on! LET GO! You want to know the truth about this fandom? Or have you always known? You just bury it away. Say it.”

 

She pursed her lips and held back tears.

 

“Say it,” he persisted.

 

“They’re assholes,” she whispered.

 

He gave her an incredulous look. “They’re filthy basement nerds who only care about your purity. You have no value to anyone once you spread your legs for me.”

 

Rey wrinkled her nose. She shook her head and gave him a disgusted look.

 

Ben’s eyes widened. “That— that is not how I meant— Oh boy.“ He glared and shook his fist at the sky. “Are you even serious right now? That’s worse than what I said before!”

 

“Well,” Rey raised a brow. “I guess no amount of time as a galactic leader has instilled any amount of your mother’s diplomacy and tact in you. See ya next round, Darth Darcy.”

 

When she disapparated, Kylo slumped onto his bed and put his head in his hands.

"Smooth move, Han Junior." Luke's Force ghost interrupted Deep Thoughts With Kylo Ren.

Kylo cut him a look. "Nice of you to show up, Uncle Luke. At least this time you waited until  _after_  I kissed the girl."

Luke rolled his eyes.

"Although if history is any indication, I should expect you when I'm sleeping."

Both men stared at each other for a pregnant pause.

"Finished? Get the snark out of your system?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Because I can wait if there's m--"

"--I can call up Mom if you need your own makeout buddy."

Luke sucked a breath in. "There we go. That's the below the belt punch I was waiting for. Are we good now?"

Kylo glanced up, racking his brain, then looked back at his uncle. "Yeah, I think so."

"Listen, kiddo. I know we're not on the best of terms."

"You don't say."

"Just shut up for a minute! For Force's sake, you're worse than Han and Leia put together."

"That logic follows."

"Shut. Up. Shut up and listen. Before I became one with the Force, I found some old family holocrons. I want to introduce you to someone who  might be able to help you smooth things over with Rey."

Kylo frowned, then his whole face lit up. His eyes widened and filled with hearts. "GRANDPA?!"


	3. When Life Gives You Space Lemons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year! Wishing you all a lovely 2018!
> 
> **Trigger warning for a character briefly wishing for death.**

Chapter 3: When Life Gives You Space Lemons

 

The familiar shift in sound filled the Supreme Leader’s senses. He quickly threw off his tunic and rubbed oil on his chest.

 

“All right,” Ben swallowed and rehearsed the lines from Grandpa Anakin’s hologram. “I can do this. I can do this.”

 

The Jedi fumbled with his grandfather’s lightsaber, her teeth gritted as she strained to properly repair the damage that had been done during their lovers’ spat aboard the Supremacy.

 

“Piece of junk! AAUUUGGH!!!” She looked up suddenly and glared. “Oh of course. _You_ would show up.”

 

He cocked his head. “May I help with that?”

 

“Go fuck yourself, Supreme Asshole.”

 

Ben rolled his eyes and came over to sit on his bed, where she appeared to be sitting. “I am. I really am. But I can be a helpful asshole sometimes.”

 

“Oh yes, you’ve always been loads of help,” Rey rolled her own eyes and continued to work frustratedly on the saber.

 

“Oh, so you know what you’re doing then. You’ve built one before.”

 

“I’m sure I can — UGH! — figure it out! Don’t want mine to end up looking like your janky trash!”

 

Ben rolled his eyes again and apparated into her quarters. He moved in close to her and placed his hand atop hers. “Rey. Let me help.”

 

She began to bristle but his softened brown eyes, the same eyes she’d seen on Ahch-To and in the elevator, melted her own. Her voice was soft. “I have to do it. It’s important for me to build my own.”

 

“I know,” he soothed her. “But it’s a dangerous. And you don’t have a Master to guide you. I can show you.”

 

They considered each other a moment.

 

She pointed a finger at him. “You can’t do it for me.”

 

He raised his hands. “I will do no such thing. Instruction only - the building is up to you.”

 

“Fine.”

 

A slight smile played at the corners of his lips as he moved behind her on the bed, his arms around her as he taught her which part was which, how they interconnected.

 

“It fits here, just like this. Make sure you get the parts nice and lubed up first.”

 

“Is that enough?”

 

“Yes, nice and wet. Now, for this next part you have to be careful how much pressure you use. Don’t go too fast or it’s likely to just go off.”

 

“Is this good?”

 

“Oh yes. That’s so good, Rey. Okay, now this part can get tricky. I find it works best to slowly slide it in. Yeah, just like that. Just an inch at a time.”

 

She gasped when the parts of the saber interlocked.

 

“That’s the sweet spot,” he whispered against her ear. He took the saber and placed it aside on the bed, then gently pressed her jawline so he could look into her beautiful hazel eyes.

 

“Ben…” she sighed against his full lips.

 

_This is it. Remember Grandpa’s pickup lines and do not blow it._ He coughed. “You’ve grown.”

 

Rey raised a brow.

 

“More beautiful I mean. For a Jedi I mean.” _Nailed it._

 

“That’s… thanks?” Rey frowned.

 

Ben looked deeply into her eyes. “I don’t like sand. It’s course and rough and irritating. And it gets everywhere.”

 

Rey raised a brow. “Uh. Me. Me too.”

 

“Not like here. Here everything is soft. And smooth. From the moment I met you, all those days ago—“

 

“It was seven days ago.” Rey’s face began to redden.

 

“All those seven days ago. I haven’t stopped thinking of you. Now that I’m with you again I’m in agony. The closer I get to you, the worse it gets.”

 

“Good thing we’re — here. Together. Now—” She cast her eyes down.

 

“—the thought of not being with you — I can’t breathe. I’m haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar—”

 

“Ben—”

 

“You are in my very soul—“

 

“Ben. Please sto—”

 

“Tormenting me.”

 

“Oh my God.”

 

“What can I do? I will do anything that you ask.”

 

“At this moment? Stop talking.”

 

They stared at each other for a long moment.

 

“If you are suffering as much as I am, please tell me.”

 

Rey raised a brow. “Oh I’m suffering all right.”

 

“Believe me, I wish that I could just… wish away my feelings.”

 

“You wish you could wish—“ Rey cringed and scooted off his lap. “Okay, that’s it. I can’t do this anymore.”

 

“Rey?”

 

“I can’t with the pickup lines straight out of some dudebro’s ‘how to make her panties drop’ handbook.”

 

“Rey, that’s not where—“

 

“And don’t you dare try to tell me they didn’t come from there because that’s exactly what they sound like and they most certainly don’t sound like you!”

 

“But they didn’t—“

 

“I am just —“ She crossed her arms and began to cry. “I can’t believe you would use such thinly veiled emotional manipulation to get me into bed with you! No woman in her right mind would _ever_ fall for that!”

 

“Well, actually—“

 

“Oh so now I’m going to get mansplained to? I can’t believe I let you get close again. Don’t ever speak to me again, Ben Solo!”

 

And with that, the Supreme Leader of the Galaxy was left alone on his vast and empty Renperor bed.

 

***

 

General Hux would question, later on, how exactly he had managed to find himself, of all the beings in the known galaxy, in the role of personal counselor, motivational speaker, and 80’s movie boxing coach. It began with a concerned call from the bridge about the length of time it had been since they had received orders from the top. After several futile attempts at contact from the lower ranks, the general himself finally stormed toward the Supreme Leader’s chambers.

 

He knocked on Ren’s door. 

 

He coughed and knocked again. 

 

When, for the third time, there was no response, the general pressed the open button to find the room had been left unlocked. He tiptoed inside, eyeing his surroundings.

 

There the sad sack was, lying half dressed on his bed, eyes closed.

 

A smile played at Hux’s lips and he reached for his sidearm.

 

“Go ahead, General. Do it.”

 

Hux quickly moved hand away from the gun. “Do what?”

 

“Just end it.”

 

Hux drew back. “I beg your pardon.”

 

“You heard me, General Hux. Fire at will.”

 

“Are you… quite all right, Ren?”

 

Ren’s eyes blinked open, but he stared at the ceiling. “I have lost the will to live. Woe that I was not born a woman in this universe, for if I had just given birth I would have already met the Maker.”

 

Hux cringed. “Please — please stop. You’re making this distinctly not fun for me. I can’t shoot you if you _want_ me to.”

 

Ren sighed. “I understand.”

 

Hux moved toward the bed and looked incredulously at the Supreme Leader. He had his suspicions, but needed to make sure. “Ren, what in blazes is this about?”

 

Ren still stared unblinkingly up at the ceiling. “I have everything I thought I wanted. But it’s all meaningless without her.”

 

Hux wrinkled his nose and rolled his eyes. Nailed it. “Do you mean to tell me you’re on about that girl again?”

 

Ren turned sharply. “I love her, General Hux. Truly. Madly. Deeply. I’ve never loved a woman like her.”

 

“There are plenty of stars in the galaxy, Ren—“

 

“Not like her, there aren’t!”

 

Hux found himself sitting on the bed. “What does she have, anyway? Hm? Beer flavored pussy?”

 

“I shall never know…” Ben whispered wistfully.

 

“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

 

“What?”

 

“Not that you’ve ever been a particularly rational creature, but this is beyond ridiculous. You’re ready to give up on life over a scavenger girl you met seven days ago and you haven’t even slept with her yet?”

 

“I got to second base,” Ren sat up, annoyance tinging his voice.

 

“Oh bravo. What did they feel like? Sandbags?”

 

“They felt like heaven!” Ren spat.

 

“Liar. FN-2187 said they felt like cottage cheese— AAAAHHH!”

 

CRASH!

 

Hux landed on his ass on the other side of the Supreme Suite. He slowly picked himself up and began to brush the dust off, a smile playing at his lips.

 

“Don’t you EVER say anything remotely like that AGAIN,” Ren growled through gritted teeth. His eyes were set in a cold stare.

 

“That’s it,” Hux murmured. “There’s that fighting spirit.”

 

Ren began to pace the room like a giant, caged cat.

 

“There is exactly one thing I have ever admired about you, Ren: Your resilience.”

 

“What good is resilience if I don’t have her? The hell am I being resilient for? My right hand?” His eye twitched.

 

The wheels in Hux’s head began to spin. “You know, I’ve always heard the single best revenge after a nasty breakup is to become the very best version of yourself you possibly can.”

 

“I don’t want revenge. I want her to be hap—“ Ren stopped in his tracks. Tears filled his eyes. A lump formed in his throat.

 

Hux’s eyes widened. The potential of being pulled into an emotional release was even more terrifying than the prospect of being thrown into a wall. He threw a handkerchief at the teary-eyed man and took two steps backward. “What I meant was—“

 

Rey moved back into the general’s space and grabbed his lapels. “If I was the very best version of myself I could be, that would make her happy, wouldn’t it?”

 

Hux frowned. “Making others happy is a little outside my wheelhouse.”

 

But Ren was nodding to himself and pacing the room again just as swiftly. “She wanted me to return to the light and help the Resistance. She’s wrong of course — the Resistance is full of self-aggrandizing cock-ups with no actual sense of ethics, like that Poe Dameron — so that’s not going to happen. But if I could give her the kind of galaxy we both want — a fair and just galaxy…”

 

“We’ll have to discuss the definitions of ‘fair’ and ‘just’, but I like where your head is at, Ren.”

 

Ren cut the general a look. “The name is Leader. Supreme Leader.”

 

Hux smiled to himself as Ren threw on his royal tunic and Supreme Leader cape, then ran a gloved hand through his lank hair.

 

“General Hux, set me up an appointment with the base stylist ASAP. I have a galaxy to conquer.”

 

Hux smiled and patted his sidearm as he followed Ren out of his suite. “As you wish.”

 

***

 

Rose frowned. Then blinked hard twice. Then scanned the paper again. No, that couldn’t be right.

 

Finn double checked his text from Rose, then ran off to find Poe, who was already stalking toward Finn’s end of the base with Connix hot on his heels.

 

The four of them ran into General Organa at once, who was staring at her holopad shaking her head and muttering, “That little bastard.”

 

“Hey guys.” Rey walked up to the group, a sad, but hopeful smile on her face. “What’s going on?”

 

“Nothing—! Don’t know—!No clue—!” they all blurted at once.

 

Rey frowned and wrinkled her nose. “Oh really?”

 

They all stared at her, then slowly put their various devices behind their backs.

 

“Well, that’s pointless. I’ll just mind trick whatever it is out of the stupidest one of you.” She turned her attention to the hotshot pilot. “Commander Dameron.”

 

“Hey!” Poe glared.

 

The group glanced guiltily at one another. Finally, Rose spoke. “You might want to sit down.”

 

“I’ll get some tea.” Finn rushed off for it.

 

“I’ll get a warm blanket.” Poe joined him.

 

Rose put her arm around Rey as Leia slowly handed her the holopad.

 

Rey’s frowned as she scanned the screen from top to bottom, scrolling through the article titles, each more unbelievable than the prior. _Supreme Leader Ren carries an unprecedented 92% approval rating galaxy wide!_ _Supreme Leader Ren institutes livable minimum wage, invoking the ire of junk dealers_. _Supreme Leader Ren orders strict regulations eliminating price gouging on bacta — quality of life improves across genders, ages, and species_. A video of perfectly coiffed Ben in a dashing royal cape and a winning smile pumping his fist into air like John Bender as he recited his slogan, “We can bring order to this galaxy!" and was met with a unified, "Together!" from the crowd. She let out a disgusted sound when she came to the picture of shirtless Ben Solo riding a filthier and bending down to pat a small child on the head. 

 

Rey scoffed. “Oh for fuck’s sake, this is just ridicul—“

 

And then the biggest headline of them all hit her like an asteroid out of left field. 

 

A twitch hit her left eye. 

 

“Rey?” Rose softly asked. “Are you okay?”

 

Rey’s teeth clenched and a blood vessel began to pop in her forehead. “I’m—I’m fine—everything’s fine here. Now. How are you?”

 

Leia backed up. “Oh shit.”

 

“What?” Rose backed up with her.

 

“I’ve seen this before. When Ben was little… EVERYONE CLEAR THE AREA!!”

 

Rose, Leia, and the rest of the Resistance ran for cover as Rey’s hand flew to her saber and she ignited the blue, letting out a tremendous war cry and pummeling everything in sight! They peeked out from behind crates as sparks flew everywhere and smoke from damaged computer consoles began to fill the room. Finn and Poe began to enter the room with tea and a blanket, cut each other a look, then retreated the opposite direction.

 

On the ground lay Leia’s holopad, still boldly displaying the offending front page news.

 

_Galaxy’s most eligible bachelor, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, on the lookout for his fairy tale Empress at upcoming First Order Masquerade!_


	4. Cinderella Goes to the Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's... less crack and kinda serious.

Chapter 4: Cinderella Goes to the Ball

 

“Are you clear on the mission?”

 

“Yes, General.”

 

“So you’re going to stick with my plan. You’re not going to charge in there and cock it up?”

 

“No General, I will not charge in and cock it up.”

 

Leia jabbed a finger into her ace pilot’s chest. “I’m counting on you, Dameron.”

 

“I know.”

 

“Dismissed. May the Force be with you.”

 

“And also with you.”

 

After Poe left to brief Finn and Rose, Leia pulled Rey into her chambers.

 

“Drink?”

 

“I’ve never—“

 

“Never a better time to start.” Leia poured them each a glass of wine and invited Rey to have a seat. “Don’t let the sweetness fool you; it’s a stiff one. So don’t drink too much too quickly.”

 

After a few slow sips between the pair, Leia spoke again. “Piece of advice about men, from me to you. Sometimes you have put them in a position to do exactly what they do best. And let them think they had the idea to begin with.”

 

“I’m not sure I follow.”

 

Leia moved from her seat toward her closet. “Commander Dameron is a reckless flyboy who can’t resist the opportunity to play hero. His idiotic behavior got scores of our people killed before you came back.”

 

“Oh. I’m— I’m sorry.”

 

“That’s why I’m not entrusting the mission to him. Not really. I trust him to do what he does best while you do what I need you to do.” Leia opened the closet, revealing a stunning white dress accented in pale and dark blues with crystal encrusted shoes and a mask to match.

 

Rey gasped.

 

“Well, Cinderella? How about going to a ball?”

 

Rey slowly moved to the closet and gingerly touched the gown, smiling. “I’ve never seen a real ballroom gown before. It’s fit for a queen.”

 

“It suits you.” Leia smiled and took Rey’s hand, placing her two stoned ring on Rey’s finger. “And so does this.”

 

“But isn’t that your—?”

 

Leia smiled. “My wedding ring.”

 

“But General Organa, I can’t possibly—!”

 

“It’s for a good cause. I can’t send you into the belly of the whale not looking your part, now can I? And besides, it matches the dress.”

 

Rey fingered the ring and looked into Leia’s eyes, the same brown eyes she shared with her son. “I’ll keep it safe.”

 

“I know you will.”

 

Both women took a seat again, and Leia kept Rey’s hand in her own, gazing at the ring.

 

“Han may have been a knucklehead, but he had good taste in jewelry. He picked it out to remind me of him and I, but — you know, no one knows this but we had a shotgun wedding not too long after a wild night celebrating the fall of the Empire. Don’t tell anyone.” Leia winked.

 

Rey giggled. “How scandalous!”

 

“Oh it certainly was.” Leia smiled, lost in thought.

 

“Your secret is safe with me.”

 

“That ring has always reminded me more of Han and Ben, my two greatest treasures. He was such a sweet little baby.”

 

Rey smiled sadly. “What has he like?”

 

Leia lit up. “He came out this mess of a thing with these beautiful dark eyes, and I just knew they’d stay that way. And so much hair! It was no wonder I had heartburn the entire third trimester.”

 

Both women laughed.

 

“He was such a loving little boy. Sensitive and kindhearted. He could sense when anyone was upset, and his first response was always, always to try and help. He thought he could take on every injustice on the playground through single handed vigilantism. To the point his headmaster had Han on speed dial. You’d have liked him.”

 

Rey grinned. “Did he always want to be a Jedi?”

 

Leia’s smile took on a tinge of sadness. “Hell no. He wanted to come home from school and hang out with his dad. They were always working on that hunk of junk ship together. Ben could fly before he could write, but he picked up the pen pretty quickly too. Actually, he showed artistic ability early on. There was no skill Ben took an interest in he couldn’t master.”

 

Leia took a long sip of her wine and swallowed hard. “But there was always something… different about Ben, even before he was born. A darkness that haunted his dreams. I sensed him trying to escape it when he was still growing inside me. Sometimes he talked about dark visions, drew horrific scenes, woke up screaming about hands that reached for his head in the night… He started acting out at home and school. Han wanted us to help him at home - he was afraid that if we sent him for Jedi training he’d turn into another Vader. We fought about it constantly.”

 

“But you sent him anyway.”

 

“I took Ben with me to the Senate one day. He was ten and that was the age my father had introduced me to politics, so I thought it’d be a good experience for my son. Ben was working as my page when he said, ‘I know that man. I’ve seen him in my dreams.’ I looked up and saw Senator Snoke. It was the briefest of eye contact. That was the moment I knew something was very wrong.”

 

“Snoke was a Senator?” Rey asked incredulously.

 

“He was a monster,” Leia spat. “He was rumored to have… strange predilections but always managed to skirt any legal ramifications. And he hated me. My vote usually defeated whatever stupid and heartless piece of legislation his people managed to cook up, but the final straw was when I actively campaigned against him and his foul party when he ran for Chancellor of the New Republic. He never let losing that go. So the day he saw I brought my son, he caught my eye and came over, making sure to say hello to Ben, patting his head and telling ‘young Solo’ how very proud I must be of him, what a fine boy he was. I nearly decked him for putting his hands near my son.”

 

Rey cringed, remembering how the creature had touched her aboard the Supremacy.

 

“I decided then and there I had to send Ben to train with Luke, to get him as far away from that monster as possible. If Luke could train him in the light side, Ben would be safe. Han and I fought over it, but in the end I sent him to Luke anyway. And I was wrong.”

 

“You couldn’t have known,” Rey assured her.

 

“I failed my son,” Leia stated. “I can’t save him and I never could… Rey, I won’t be here forever. When I’m gone, you’re our last hope.”

 

“I don’t know what to do,” Rey blurted. “I thought I saw your son’s future, and when I went to him, to turn him, it only made things worse.”

 

“Sweet girl, you can’t save someone else. That’s Ben’s choice and his alone.”

 

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

 

Leia took both Rey’s hands in her own. “No matter what happens, stand firmly in the light.”

 

***

 

Supreme Leader Ren, the most elegantly dressed and highly sought after man in the galaxy, sulked in his throne at the First Order masquerade ball. Several attractive women and men of different species had approached, attempting to catch his eye, but it was no use. He stared blankly at the sea of people.

 

“You know, Supreme Leader, you do at least have to give the appearance of seeking a mate.”

 

Kylo scoffed. “I told you before, General, I’m not wife shopping.”

 

“I didn’t say you actually had to get married. Just— look interested.”

 

“I’m not. And this is stupid.”

 

“You look like a pouty emo teenager whose parents made him go to the prom.”

 

“I can’t believe I agreed to this.”

 

“Well, you know, we wouldn’t have to go this route if you’d allow me a free hand in shaping the galaxy to the First Order’s will.”

 

“No. I’m not reeking more war and havoc on a peaceful, stabilized galaxy. The people are happy. That’s enough.”

 

“Then you shouldn’t be surprised at the upkeep of winning hearts and minds through popularity and charm. If you’d meet me halfway and rule the galaxy with an iron fist you wouldn’t have to put on this horse and pony show. As it stands our funding comes solely from taxation — from which you allow far too many cuts and allowances — and gala fundraisers.”

 

Kylo rolled his eyes.

 

“And by the way, I happen to think this fundraiser masquerading as a wife hunt is one of my more genius ideas. How many donations do you think we’ve received so far from rich old geezers hoping to marry off their daughters to the most powerful man in the galaxy? Hm?”

 

“How much, General,” Kylo dryly intoned.

 

“Billions already. Our droids have kept careful count. Of course, you wouldn’t have to do this at all if my troops could force the mining operation again.”

 

Kylo moved into the general’s space. “Children were dying in those mines. It will not happen again.”

 

Hux shrugged. “A small price for unchallenged order.”

 

A familiar, intoxicating presence suddenly blasted Kylo’s senses. He jerked his head to find her. There she was, a vision in pale and dark blues, her chestnut hair flowing in elegantly curled locks, and her hazel eyes burning from beneath a simple white mask that concealed her identity. The entire gala came to a halt as the Supreme Leader stood. He practically bolted from his throne to meet her, his red tinged black cape fluttering behind him.

 

Everyone at the ball stopped and watched as the man in black approached and removed his gloves, offering the mysterious girl his bare hand. She considered him for a moment, the pair staring at each other’s eyes, then slipped her graceful hand into his.

 

Time stood still as he slowly pulled her in close. Once the gawking orchestra started back up, the duo began to gracefully, fluidly move.

 

“What are you doing here?” he whispered.

 

“I came to meet the woman who turned the head of the high and mighty Kylo Ren,” she hissed back. “Your Highness.”

 

Ben cut her an annoyed look. “There is no such woman.”

 

“I saw the news.”

 

“I’m sure.” He rolled his eyes and scoffed, noting the jewelry on the hand he held. “Well, look at this. First, you scavenge my father’s ship and blaster, now you’ve got hold of my mother’s wedding ring. I wonder what else of my parents’ belongs to you.”

 

“I have everything I need.”

 

He slid his hand down the small of her back and whispered into the shell of her ear, “Then why are you here, Rey? Does this thrill you? Being the galaxy’s last Jedi and dancing with the infamous Jedi Killer.”

 

“You would never destroy me, Ben Solo.” 

 

He slid a hand down to her ass and pointedly squeezed as he husked into her ear, “We’ll see.” 

 

“Be careful, your highness — people will say we’re in love.” 

 

He wrinkled his nose. “Stop calling me that.”

 

She leaned in and whispered in his ear, “Wouldn’t they be right though? Ben…” 

 

He pulled her body flush with his, his breath hot on her face as he growled and dipped her, “Don’t tease me. You told me not to call you again and I haven’t.”

 

He lifted her back up, unconsciously smelling her hair as he brought her back up to him.

 

“I was supposed to tolerate your incredible capacity for insensitivity? Your use of tacky seduction handbooks to get into my panties?”

 

“I wasn’t trying to get into your panties!”

 

“Oh really? You just kept showing up half naked for the fresh air on your nipples?”

 

He pulled her face in close to his, locking eyes with her. “I wanted you, yes. But not just your body. I wanted to find a way into your soul, your hear—“ He choked up, his bottom lip showing the tiniest of quivers.

 

“You can always come back with me.”

 

He sneered. “Who says I still want to?”

 

She blinked, her heart nearly stopping, and whispered, “What?”

 

He swallowed. “You’re so bent on shaping me to your idea of what’s right. You don’t even know why you’re fighting for the Resistance.”

 

“Because the First Order is evil.”

 

He scoffed. “You said you read the news. So I won’t insult your intelligence or your,” and he emphasized the next word, “ _integrity_ by repeating what you say you’ve read. We both know the galaxy is better off now than it ever was under the New Republic or Snoke’s Order. I’m a damn good Supreme Leader. I’ve fostered a galaxy where hunger is scarce and violence is at an all-time low - this is the only I’ve ever done that I can be proud of.”

 

“Ben…”

 

“And in case you hadn’t noticed, I can have any and every woman in this room if I want to.”

 

Her lip trembled and tears filled her eyes. “Why are you so cruel?” 

 

“Why are you?” he shot back. “You tease me. You insult me. You’ve toyed with my emotions for the sake of your precious Rebellion. Maker, the stories I could tell you about some of the snakes in that pit. And why? Because all the treasures of my household fell away from me and passed to you. So you must be the worthier of us, right? Right?”

 

A tear spilled onto her cheek. He lifted her chin and murmured against her lips. “I offered you the galaxy, to throw everything away and rule by my side, as my equal. You refused so I did it on my own. I moved on and made something of myself, and I won’t let anyone make me feel less than again. I’m never going to fight for your Rebellion and I won’t pretend I will.”

 

“Ben,” she whispered. 

 

“Rey,” he swallowed, taking her face in his bare hands, and gazing into her eyes. “I love you. You’re the only woman I’ve ever loved. I’m sorry for causing you pain.”

 

“Ben, I—“ She felt all the eyes in the room on them and desired to retreat somewhere more private.

 

Sensing her desire, he led them out of the gawking crowd, his hand on the small of her back. When they’d reached a deserted corridor, he pulled her mask away and cradled her face in his hands.

 

“Ben, you’re the only man I’ve ever felt this way about. And neither of us will stop loving each other. But you won’t stop ruling the galaxy and I won’t stop fighting for the Rebellion. So where does that leave us?”

 

“The only way we’ll win is by saving what we love.”

 

“What?”

 

Ben dropped to one knee and took her hand, his lip quivering.

 

“Rey, I promise that no matter what side we are on, the first side I will ever take is yours. That even if we’re physically separated, I will do my best to show you each and every day how much I cherish you. I would be the happiest man in the galaxy if you, Rey the scavenger girl from Jakku and the last Jedi, would be my wife.”

 

She pulled him back up, and as soon as he stood she leapt into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist and crashing her lips against his. “Yes, Ben,” she whispered happily as she kissed his face. “Yes.”

 

He spun her around in a circle before setting her gently back on the ground. He pressed his forehead against hers, nuzzling her nose. 

 

BOOM!

 

An explosion rocked the corridor. All was dark. 


	5. Poe Cocks It All Up Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title pretty much says it all.
> 
> I'm sorry this took so long to update -- I got bogged down with work on a couple other projects this month. Hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently!

Chapter 5: Poe Cocks It All Up Again

_Earlier that evening…_

 

“Sweetness, I can’t say I’m entirely confident this will work. Remember the last time we had a fabulous idea…” Finn nervously adjusted his feathered mask as they scurried down the corridor.

 

“Yeah, I know. The plot was slow and clunky, there were too many new, ancillary characters even after Captain Dameron managed to blow most of our fleet to hell, and Maz Kanata had the most unnecessary cameo ever. But this is different. This is coming from top brass.”

 

“I mean, I love Poe but doesn’t he consider himself top brass?”

 

Rose rolled her eyes. “He does.”

 

“So what if this is just Poe’s half baked idea to play hero against the First Order?”

 

Rose laughed and opened up a hidden pocket on the waistband of her dress, revealing a small, blinking device. “It’s not.” 

 

“Wait, is that the—“

 

Rose grinned. “Tracker? Yep. General Organa gave it to me so if Poe decided to do something stupid nothing would happen to it. And if Poe does cock it all up, as usual, we can always signal and get backup.”

 

“She really does think of everything, doesn’t she?” Finn grinned. “What would we do without our princess?”

 

“I’d hate to find out…” said Rose, gravely. “Ready to steal some top secret First Order plans?”

 

Finn gulped. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

Rose stopped in her tracks, sucking a breath in. “Wait, is that?—“

 

***

 

The general tracked his lovesick Supreme Leader with narrowed eyes as he led what obviously had to be The Girl out of the ballroom and into a dark, secluded corridor. Finally, an appropriate distance having been placed between himself and Ren, Hux followed them into the corridor. There the star-crossed lovebirds were, arguing about their sexual tension in the middle of the damned hallway. At the opposite end, unseen by Ren and the girl, was—

 

***

 

It wasn’t really disobeying a direct order if you didn’t get caught, right? Poe Dameron decided not getting caught leaving his ship to scope out the premises while Finn and Rose went for the intel was his best bet. All he needed to do was get a good look at the place. Who knew what else he’d see? It was just a little look. And while he was at it, he may as well take a few thermal detonators. Just in case.

 

He slipped in unnoticed and made his way to a quiet corridor, BB-8 rolling along beside him inside a trashcan. He heard raised voices and ducked behind a corner, peaking out to see Rey arguing with Kylo Ren. It was a little outside of the plan, which as far as he knew was to distract him in the ballroom, but then again so was Poe’s current endeavor, so far be it from him to pass judgment. Still, something seemed off about the whole thing. He narrowed his eyes when further down the hall he saw—

 

***

THE PILOT! That little Resistance asshat who’d insulted his mother! Why he ought to—

 

But the more he and the dashing pilot glared at each other from across the long, vast corridor, the more General Hux found himself _wanting_ to stare at the wavy hair, the full lips, the rugged jaw. Suddenly, a THUMP jolted in his chest, startling the poor ginger out of his wits! “Gracious me!” he squeaked, placing a gloved hand over the place where he supposed his shriveled up heart must have been. “Huh. Guess I do have one of those after all.”

 

Both he and Dameron were momentarily startled by the display in the middle of the corridor — Supreme Leader Ren and Rey making out. At last! Evidence! The general had barely retrieved his holorecorder when he saw the Captain’s hand reach into his own pocket and all at once—

 

***

 

_BOOM!_

 

“Rey!” he called, but only ringing filled the Supreme Leader’s ears.

 

“REY!” 

 

“Ben?” her small voice called back.

 

“Rey!” He rushed through the smoke to his Jedi fiancé’s voice. “Rey, I’m coming!”

 

“I’m sorry, Ben.”

 

“Rey?” 

 

As the smoke began to clear, he saw his fiancé standing in the corridor, her ballroom gown ripped up to her thigh, revealing the legacy saber he had helped her reforge tucked away in a black garter. She called the saber from her garter and lit it. 

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered again. 

 

He grit his teeth and forced himself to hold back the moisture that threatened to leak from his dark eyes. “So this is how it is.” 

 

She swallowed. “No, Ben.” 

 

He lit his blade and stalked toward her, his voice a low, menacing growl. “You toyed with my emotions to gain the upper hand.” 

 

“It’s not like that.” 

 

He glared. “I’m sure. I’m going to lay waste to every single one of your little scumbag Resistance pals for ruining my fundraiser AND my proposal! They’ll pay for your treachery!”

 

“I will marry you, Ben Solo!” she shouted. “But you will not lay a finger on my friends!”

 

“Rey—“ he growled.

 

“I won’t let you!” She shoved her blue blade in front of his face.

 

He blocked it with his fiery red blade and locked eyes with her. “Ah yes, there you are. I’ve missed your fire. Whatever little plan you and your friends came to carry out, I’m putting a stop to it right now. Then, as soon as I’m finished, I’m going to bend you over my knee, right in front of all your friends, and show them what happens to naughty little Jedi when they disobey their Supreme Leader. Maybe I’ll even let them live long enough to watch me fuck your mouth.”

 

His brazen, angry statement threw them both off-guard, causing her to draw back momentarily.

 

“You wouldn’t really…”

 

Her dark fiance’s eyes roved over her lips and breasts, drinking in the hint of nervousness and arousal that colored her emotions. “You like that, Jedi? The thought of submitting to your Supreme Leader while your friends watch? You love it, don’t you?”

 

She grit her teeth and drew back with her saber.

 

“Ah, you do,” he cooed. “I always said I’d destroy the last Jedi. So whenever you’re ready to catch a stabbing, go ahead and spread those pretty legs for me. I can’t wait to hear you scream how much you love getting fucked by Kylo Ren.”

 

That did it. With a sudden primal scream, she launched forward, crashing his blade with her own. They went on a frenzied chase around the crumbling, fiery ballroom, slashing at each other as embers fell from the vaulted ceiling, a chandelier barely missing them as it shattered. 

 

“You’re gonna _pay_ for what you said!”

 

He blocked her thrust, groaning as she pushed into him, then forced her back and pushed his weight into her, towering above her with a lecherous smirk. “Yeah? I’ve been naughty and now you’re going to punish me?”

 

“I won’t touch you for a month after we wed! You’ll sleep on the couch on our wedding night, Ben Solo!”

 

He could feel the lie in the statement through the Force, but the threat still bothered him. The very notion she could do without consummating their desire for each other, on their wedding day at that, angered him at a primal level. “You’d better sleep with one eye open then,” he growled dangerously.

 

She parried her way out from under him and took off across the ballroom, the Jedi Killer hot on her tail. 

He Force sped to her and pinned her against the wall from behind, his hands engulfing her wrists, his angry, red saber crackling dangerously close to her face. He was aching for her, desperate to be inside her. He pressed his growing, clothed erection against her ass, brushing against the bare part of her upper thigh the ripped gown revealed. He could feel her moisten through the bond.

 

“Tell me you want me,” he breathed against her neck. “Tell me the Resistance means nothing to you and you need my cock inside you.”

 

“They’re my friends!” she squirmed against his hold, pressing her backside involuntarily against his hard length. _Maker, but he felt monstrous_.

 

“Yes, I am,” he assured her. “Now tell me you need this, Rey.”

 

She tried to stifle a moan to no avail as he ground himself against her backside, rubbing his generous manhood against the thin layer of undergarments that barely kept her wet pussy from being exposed to what was left of the ballroom. “I— I need—“

 

He deactivated both sabers and dropped them to the ground, running his hands down her arms as he husked into her ear between hot, wet kisses down her neck, “I could pull your soaked panties to the side and take you right here, Jedi. You wouldn’t even make me wait until the wedding night. Tell me you want it.”

 

“I—“ she gasped.

 

He turned her to face him and, after looking into her needy hazel eyes, crashed his lips into hers, sucking greedily at her mouth as he slid his tongue inside. He felt her fingers curl into his black locks, and moaned when he felt her tugging him closer.

 

“Oh Rey,” he husked between kisses. “I’d give you the galaxy if you asked.”

 

He slid a hand down her side, then inside her panties. He drew a breath in. “You shaved before you came?”

 

She gasped when she felt his fingers slide along her wet slit.

 

A wicked grin spread across his face. “You came here expecting to fuck.”

 

“Not expecting—“

 

“No? Then why shave your pussy just to dance with me?”

 

“Just in case…”

 

He slid one finger, then another inside her slick walls, using his thumb to rub circles around her clit as he slowly pumped his fingers.

 

She gasped into his mouth, which prompted him to steal yet another wet kiss. “Ben…” she moaned.

 

Just then, a stun beam sent him flying backwards with a thud.

 

“Force damn it,” grumbled Poe as he smacked his blaster. “Forgot to change the setting.”

 

“Poe?” she looked up at the man standing at the top of the hovering ramp of the Millennium Falcon.

 

“Rey! Let’s get outta here and find Finn and Rose — they’ve gotta be close!”

 

“But—“

 

“Come on, hurry! They could be hurt!”

 

She Force jumped and clambered onto the Falcon, Poe reaching out his hand to help her aboard.

 

“That sick, creepy son of a bitch! Did he hurt you?”

 

Rey frowned. “No, I—“

 

“I saw what he was trying to do. If he hurt you, you tell me and I’ll kill him. Freaking idiot. Like a girl as good and pure as you would ever want a monster like him!”

 

Rey swallowed. She could feel her dark finance’s heartbeat through the Force, but she couldn’t shake a growing sense of unease.

 

***

 

_BOOM!_

 

The general struggled to get his bearings, a high pitched whir filling his ears. The hot idiot pilot was nowhere to be seen now, but the traitor and the girl he’d infiltrated the Supremacy with before lay prone, surrounded by rubble. A groan emitted from the traitor’s lips. And just beyond his little girlfriend’s fingertips was a small, blinking device. Hux sneered and stumbled to his feet, swiping the tracker and reaching for his commlink.

 

“Bosworth, meet me at the designated location away from Baby Bird. I have a tracker to Mama.”


	6. A Promise is a Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *tosses rose petals everywhere*
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day, my lovely Reylo readers! 
> 
> A departure from the overall crack tone. Smut incoming. >:) <3<3<3

Chapter 6: A Promise is a Promise

 

“What was it like?” Rose asked, dreamily.

 

Finn groaned.

 

“He was so big and strong and it was intense. I was thinking, ‘can I genuinely survive this fire? I don’t know how long I can last because he’s so strong’.”

 

Rose had to keep her jaw from dropping. Finally, she patted Rey’s hand and murmured, “Good for you.”

 

Finn rolled his eyes. “So now that we’re done fangirling about Rey crossing swords with the Supreme Butthead, can we please--”

 

Rose shushed her boyfriend. “Rey?”

 

StormFlower glanced at Rey’s worried face and then at each other.

 

“Something’s wrong,” Rey muttered. “I feel… cold.”

 

***

It had happened quickly, they learned. A small, unidentified strike force had swooped in and taken out headquarters. The survivors had evacuated and sent a warning signal as quickly as possible to Poe’s ship warning them away from the decimated base and telling them to wait for further instruction. When they finally arrived, the news of Leia’s death was broken and Poe Dameron was swiftly handed the reigns of command.

 

Rey sat on her hard, makeshift bunk at the new base, her head in her hands, once again alone. Suddenly, the sound was sucked from the room save for a few quiet sobs coming from the other end of her bed. The Supreme Leader of the First Order was curled into a ball, his broad back shaking as he cried into his hands.

 

Rey reached a slow, tender hand toward him, gently placing it on his shoulder. He stilled for a long moment, color warming as he apparated. Then he reached back and placed his own warm, bare hand atop hers. She curled herself around him, wrapping her arm around his waist and nuzzling against the back of his neck, letting him intertwine his fingers with hers. When he was settled into the warmth and comfort of her body, Ben let himself continue to cry.

 

The grieving pair was oblivious to the wavy haired pilot turned general who watched from the door. They didn’t realize he had heard the girl whisper a promise to come to him. And no one in all the Resistance suspected General Poe Dameron of walking quietly to his own quarters and placing a private phone call to the enemy.

 

***

Containing his raw lust for the last Jedi all the way to their suite drove Ren wild. The things he wanted to do with her... 

 

She could feel the emotions roiling off him in buzzing waves, and it made her blood rise. 

 

He never broke eye contact as the elevator moved at what felt like a snail’s pace to their destination. His lips were millimeters away from hers. 

 

She wanted to kiss him, desperately, but felt a thought that was as good as a warning every time the idea of brushing his lips entered her head: An image of his massive body against her back, her belly and face pressed against the elevator wall, one hand grasping her wrist and the other lightly squeezing her neck as he drove savagely into her. Once she started this, he intended to finish it, irrespective of where it began or who was there to witness it. So instead, she intertwined her fingers with his, begging with her eyes for reassurance. She felt him squeeze her small hand tightly into his own, the briefest jolt of nervousness breaking his usual self-assurance. 

 

An unspoken emotion hung thickly in the air between them as the elevator doors opened, revealing their candlelit top story suite: He desperately wanted her to enjoy this, to enjoy him.

 

He guided her by the hand into their room and swallowed, his chin quivering, as he whispered to her, “I’ve been planning this for a long time. Ever since you came to me on the Supremacy.”

 

There he was: The man she had fallen head over heels for on the island — their island.

 

“I know you have, Ben,” she whispered against his full lips, already envisioning what he’d do with them.

 

“Do you trust me?” he husked.

 

She swallowed and nodded.

 

He released his love’s hand and gently used the Force to float her above their bed. He curled his fingers in a sudden, sharp motion and her white dress slid slowly from her lithe body, revealing her small, perfectly shaped breasts. She gasped as he let her drop onto the massive bed and sauntered toward her, his dark eyes alight with lust and something vaguely menacing. He crawled toward her on the bed, hovering over her and removing his cape.

 

“Ben.” She put her delicate hands on his broad chest. “Let me.”

 

He held perfectly still while his beloved moved to sit on her heels in nothing but white lace panties. She longed to feel the muscular chest he’d so proudly displayed like a peacock pressed against her breasts and back. His dick hardened as he watched her small hands delicately, gingerly remove his shirt, then his arm wraps. He hissed as her hands grazed his bulging hard on while she fumbled to unfasten his trousers. He quickly shucked his boots, then helped her with the pants.

 

Rey gasped.  _ He was exactly as big as he’d bragged during their ForceTime sessions. He wasn’t lying. _

 

“No,” he chuckled darkly as he crawled over her, pushing her back into the pillows. “I wasn’t.”

 

She licked her lips, gasping into his mouth. “I want to suck you,” she whispered wantonly.

 

A shudder ran down his spine straight into his throbbing cock. It took every bit of practiced self-control for Supreme Leader Ren not to oblige by shoving it down her eager throat.

 

“You will,” he assured her, then captured her lips with his, sliding his tongue over hers and gently reaching out with Force tendrils, inviting her to taste his desire in a different way. He let her feel how good her nipples felt grazing his chest, his aching desire to be one with her as he slowly kissed down her body toward her soaked panties. He peeled them gingerly off with his large hand and then held them up to his face, burying his nose in them and watching his wife’s wide eyes as he showed her how the very scent of her drove him wild.

 

He felt a wave of arousal wash over her through their bond and reached for his cock out of habit.

 

“Ben,” she whined. “Let me…”

 

He guided her hand to his twitching cock, showing her how he liked to be stroked, then kissed her forehead and down her jaw while she slid her small hands up and down his velvet shaft.

 

“This is what you really want, isn’t it?” he rasped into her ear and slid two of his fingers into her mouth.

 

She eagerly sucked them and moaned as she continued to pump him.

 

He pulled his fingers out of her mouth with a small pop and snaked them down to her slit, starting by edging just his middle finger inside her.

 

She gasped as she adjusted to this new sensation, gently bucking as he slid a second thick finger inside.

 

“Ben!” she gasped. “I want—“

 

“Shh…” he breathed into her ear. “You’ll want to be warmed up for… the rest of tonight.”

 

Keeping his fingers inside, he moved down and slowly slid his tongue over her folds, savoring the taste of her juices dripping from his fingers, keening as her soft, sensual moans filled their room. He swirled his tongue around the small bundle of nerves he’d often caught her stroking with her fingers. 

 

“Beeennn…” she whimpered, lost in the feel of his fingers and tongue.

 

He removed his fingers with a sudden pop, quickly replacing them with his tongue as he buried his face in her slick cunt. He groaned and reached for his cock when he felt her fingers tug at his long, black hair, pulling his face further into her. He laved and sucked at her pussy, rubbing his nose against her clit as she bucked against him. He could feel her edging closer to release, teetering on the brink—

 

He pulled away, eliciting a whining whimper from his Jedi mate.

 

“Ben!” she cried in protest.

 

He slithered up her body, moving her onto her side and positioning himself so he spooned her. One hand grasped her thigh, bending her knee upward for better access, and he slid his other muscular arm to cradle her neck, turning her jaw delicately with his fingertips so she looked him in his dark eyes. With his other hand, he rubbed slow circles around her clit, sending waves of vibration through the Force that hit her deeply in her core and made her ache for him even stronger. He lined himself up with her slit, rubbing his head against her slick folds before slowly, painstakingly sliding inch by inch inside his moaning little Jedi.

 

He stopped when breaking through a barrier made her cry out sharply. He sent soothing waves through his fingertips, kissing gently along her neck until she began to moan again and rock against him.

 

“Is this what you wanted on the island?” he husked into her ear as he slid deeper.

 

“Ben…” she gasped.

 

“Tell me, Rey. I’ve thought about you this way since the forest. Tell me how long you’ve wanted this.”

 

Unable to form coherent words while he slid against her g-spot and sucked bruises into her neck and collarbone, she instead sent him the jumble of racing thoughts that flashed through her mind. Flashes of him looking her over just before the waves of Ahch-To splashed her face followed by her riding him on the shore with just their pants pulled hastily down. An image of her grabbing his face and pulling him down for a heated kiss when he hovered dangerously above her, his bare chest glistening in the light. Her legs wrapped around his waist in the Supremacy elevator as he backed her into the wall...

 

His eyes became dark with something feral at the last, and he unconsciously began to thrust harder as he murmured into her neck, “That’s what I should have done. Or just taken you back to my room. That’s what you wanted when you got inches away from my lips in the elevator, trying to turn me to the light. You wanted me to--”

 

Rey grasped two fists full of hair and crushed her lips against his, sliding her tongue inside to taste him. He groaned at the feel of her thrusting back against him, her hand grasping his hip for leverage.

 

Sensing her need, he rolled onto his back, pulling her atop him and letting her find the pace she desired. He let his hands caress her breasts, her slim waist, her ample hips and ass as she strained to find the right rhythm.

 

“That’s it Rey,” he whispered against her flushed lips. “Take whatever you want.”

 

Watching her ride him was making it increasingly difficult not to explode himself. The sweat dripping from her brow, between the curve of her bouncing breasts. Her taut abdomen gleaming against his as she rubbed her clit against his pubic bone chasing a high she had only ever found on her own before.

 

“Ben, I’m-- I’m almost--” she gasped.

 

“Look at me,” he implored her, increasing his own pace.

 

When her soft, trusting eyes met his, that was all it took. He whispered her name like a prayer as he spilled inside her, sucking the tits she thrust into his face as she threw her head back and cried out his name, her pussy clenching tightly around him, squeezing every last drop from her beloved.

 

They lay panting against each other for several minutes before he rolled them onto their sides, the tips of their noses brushing as they gazed at each other in awe. After a few breathless minutes, she began to play with his hair, her cheeks flushing as she gave him a pretty, closed mouth smile.

 

“Did you like it?”

 

“Yes.” She gave him a peck on his lips.

 

He let himself get a satisfied smile. “You can have it any time you want.”

 

“Right now? But don’t males have to recover first?”

 

His dark eyes roved carnally over her body before meeting hers again. “I have the Force. I’m ready when you are.”

 

She grinned and pulled her dark lover atop her, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him in for a kiss. “Make love to me, Ben Solo.”

 

“As you wish.”

 

***

 

Several hours and a multitude of orgasms later, lying awake gazing at the softly snoring girl curled safely in his arms, Ben brushed a stray hair from her brow then gently pulled her hand up so he could place a soft kiss on her ring finger. In hindsight, he couldn’t believe she had actually met him on Naboo so soon, that she was finally all his to cherish and hold. But if anything, his mother’s sudden death, the lost chance to make amends and say goodbye had made him painfully aware of just how fleeting time was. Grateful, he nuzzled into the young woman’s chestnut hair and whispered, “I love you, Rey Solo.


	7. Rise of the Huxperor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A shocking revelation leaves a power vacuum that truly sucks.

7: Rise of the Huxperor

 

Poe Dameron, ace pilot, habitual cock up, and newly minted General of the Resistance, tried to think of something clever to say, but at the moment it was all he could do to catch his breath as he stared at the ceiling in awe. “How did-- What was--”

 

Armitage Hux leaned back into the pillows and lazily struck a pack of cigarettes into his palm. “What was it you were saying about my mother?”

 

“I… I don’t even know…”

 

“That’s what I thought. Now about our mutual problem. I’ve been gathering evidence of his fixation on your Jedi for some time now. If you’ll look at the elevator footage...”

 

Poe honed in on the proximity of the pair, the way his eyes danced over her face and body. There was only one thing a man with that look was thinking of, and it wasn’t Monday Night Football. “Can you believe some people still think they’re related?”

 

“Oh I’ve heard things about that family...”

 

“I don’t think I want to know.”

 

“Here’s what I do know: The galaxy adores Supreme Leader Ren. Your pathetic rebel fleet is irrelevant since he’s brought about stability and--” Hux shuddered. “ _ Peace _ . I have no iron military industrial grip and you and your ragtag band have no reason to play the hero. In fact you’re now seen as outright terrorists galaxy wide thanks to the mass civilian casualties at the First Order Masque. Well done.” Hux allowed himself a smirk.

 

Poe groaned.

 

“In a deliciously ironic turn of events, your little stunt did change any lingering hearts and minds. The good thing for the both of us is that at this point in the game Ren’s little villainous crush is no longer acceptable gossip fodder. If the galaxy found out he was bedding down with the sweetheart of the galaxy’s most notorious terrorist organization, they’d scream corruption and call for his head on a pike, just like they once did his mother’s and his grandfather’s.”

 

“Wait, wait, wait.  _ Bedding down _ ?”

 

“Oh, you didn’t know?” Hux’s lips twisted into a sinister sneer.

 

His eyes widened as reality slowly dawned on the General of the Resistance.

 

Hux grabbed a remote from his nightstand and turned on his holovision, ordering the computer to pull up old footage from the Supreme Leader’s bed chambers.

Supreme Leader Ren’s hands traveled over a young woman’s night shirt and slip beneath her pajama pants. Her coloration seemed off, almost like she was a projection, a very vivid hologram into the room. As Ren rolled his built form to the side and pulled the girl by her hips on top of him, Poe’s jaw dropped and he gasped. Right before his eyes, caught on camera, was the Supreme Leader of the Galaxy being dry humped through his Darth Vader pajama pants by none other than Rey of Jakku, the Last Jedi.

 

Poe sat dumbfounded for a long beat before finally responding in a hushed voice. “This is… brilliant.”

 

“I know. Now go make me a sandwich.”

 

“I… I don’t know if I can walk.”

 

Hux reached for the belt in his slacks. “You better figure out how.”

___

 

Across the galaxy a rebel signal cut through every holovision channel.

 

“This is General Poe Dameron of the Resistance. Our forces have obtained footage of your Supreme Leader with our highest profile fighter.”

 

The footage of the Jedi Killer and the Last Jedi played as Poe’s speech continued.

 

“Corruption at the very source. Is this the Supreme Leader you thought you knew?”

 

A tremor shuddered through the Force as billions of galactic citizens gasped in betrayal. Hux’s broadcasting team waited about twenty minutes after Poe’s signal cut out to give the galaxy time for the scandal to sink in.

 

“Attention Citizens of the Galaxy: This is General Armitage Hux. I am taking control of the First Order and declaring myself Supreme Leader. We will not tolerate traitors among our ranks! I am calling for the man formerly known as the Renperor to be brought, dead or alive, to the First Order. We will bring true order back to the galaxy! Not only this, we will spread that order beyond the reaches of our galaxy! Tomorrow our top scientists will open a portal to a galaxy far, far away and no one will stand in our way!”

___

 

Ben Solo stood in a wide legged stance on the balcony of his grandmother’s summer home gazing at the sea. His dark eyes blinked slowly as he watched the waves washing onto and away from the shore, syncing his breath with the slow, steady rhythm. He’d watched the holomissive late last night, after Rey had drifted off to sleep. If Hux managed to open that portal, Force knew what might come through. He knew what had to be done.

  
He came back to their room for a few moments and gazed at his sleeping wife, appreciating every freckle on her cheek and smiling at the bit of drool coming from her perfect pink lips. He brushed a strand of chestnut hair from her face and kissed her cheek. “I love you,” he whispered. Then he grabbed his bag and, his black cape and hair billowing in the open breeze, strode decidedly toward his  _ Silencer _ , ready with the coordinates to the Resistance.


	8. Orange is the New Crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Force shows Ben what could have happened in the elevator. Meanwhile, Hux opens the portal.

Chapter 8: Orange is the New Crack

 

Ben Solo stood stiffly in the stifling confines of the elevator, his uncle’s lightsaber in his hand, just behind the handcuffed girl from the light who’d sent him hurtling off course. He tried to tune her melodic, lilting voice out, but it was no use.  _ Don’t get a boner _ , he thought.  _ Don’t get a boner. _

 

“ _ Ben _ ,” she insisted.

 

Too late. He was powerless to resist the yearning in her voice, the want in her lovely, lonely hazel eyes. His own eyes widened as she moved thisclose to him. He prayed to the Force she’d keep her waist at least eight inches away from his, and desperately hoped the thoughts that repeatedly barraged his mind weren’t leaking into hers.

 

“I’ll help you,” she insisted, leaning into him, her voice barely above a whisper. “I saw it.”

 

His breath hitched as she placed her still cuffed hands delicately on his broad chest, her eyes raking him over, remembering, he knew, what she had seen beneath his tunic.

 

He placed his hands over hers, and whispered back, “I saw something too. Because of what I saw I know when the moment comes you’ll be the one to turn. You’ll stand with me.”

 

He let the statement hang in the air that was already thick with the churning of their mutual hunger and longing. He took a moment to appreciate the brazen hope in her simultaneously strong and delicate face. 

 

“Rey,” he finally husked against her lips, letting his hands slide over her arms and down her waist as he closed the gap between them.

 

Their lips met in a ginger, almost shy kiss. That is, until an involuntary moan escaped her small, delicate throat and he pulled her fiercely against him in response, his tongue crashing against hers. He backed her frantically against the wall, grinding his hard length between her legs as he sucked and nipped her lower lip. His mouth was wet and hot against her jawline and neck as he reached frantically for the button to shift the direction of their ride.

 

She searched his face, eyes wide and lip trembling, sensing his intent.

 

“Doyouwannacometomyquarters?!”

 

“What?”

 

He swallowed hard and his eye twitched almost imperceptibly. “Do you-- do you want to come to my quarters and… you know…”

 

She nodded, breathless. 

 

And so they did, Ben guiding her to his room, careful to tie a sock on the doorknob so the stormtroopers standing watch knew not to knock. Then he led her to his twin bed, growling into her ear, “I’m gonna touch your fingers so hard you’re not able to shake hands for a week.”

 

“Oh Ben, you’re so bad…”

 

Suddenly, the doors flew open. The lovers were surrounded by the Praetorian guards and in strode Snoke, a lecherous smile spreading across his brutally marred face as he lifted them both high into the air and sent waves of tortuous shock through their bodies. Rey was caterwauling into the small room and no matter how he tried he couldn’t break either of them from Snoke’s invisible claws. He felt the blinding white pain that shot through both of them until, at once, the room faded to black. 

 

Ben turned the ways in which that fateful elevator ride, and their other encounters, could have played out over and over again in his mind. And each time it struck him how even the slightest shift could have altered the course of the future. But not, ultimately, in a good way. He did enjoy the times they ended up in the throws of passion. But when it was over, it always led to the same destructive end. 

 

It struck Ben that although, by his own admission, he’d botched his proposal, if things had gone differently, if he had gone with Rey instead of claiming the throne, things would be vastly different now. The galaxy had still ended up with, he rolled his eyes, a  _ Huxperor _ . But if the little slimeball had been in a position to take over then how many more star systems would have been blown to pieces? He even had a vague sense that had he come along with Rey so soon she might not have become Mrs. Solo until well into the future. And so, slowly, Ben Solo was beginning to learn that the great mystery of the Force was that it had a will and a timing of its own, could even use his stellar fuckups to ensure a sort of balance was maintained and things worked out according to its plan. Thankfully so, because thus far all of his efforts at controlling the outcome of his fate had backfired stupendously.

 

And so, as he sat in his Resistance cell, hands bound, he did something he had not done since he had had that protracted and unsolicited philosophy discussion about the stars that ended with him choking out Lieutenant Mitaka. He waited patiently in meditation.

 

***

 

“Are you sure declaring myself the Poeperor was the right move? I feel like that evokes an image counter to what the Resistance stands for. Sortof difficult to remain credible as the face of the rebellion when I’m declaring dictatorship myself.”

 

The Huxperor took a long drag from his cigarette. “The people want a strong leader, whether they admit it or not. My side. Your side. In the end it’s the same shit sandwich wrapped in a fancy bow. Little people wanting a big person to tell other little people how to play in the school yard and feel like they made a difference in the galaxy. One side wants to tell the little people how to spend their credits; the other wants to tell them how to live their lives. We keep all the little people in-fighting so you and I get to be the big people with the big guns and the big ships and the big quarters. That’s politics.”

 

“That’s cynical.”

 

“That’s realism. And what are you complaining about? You get to be the Big Damn Hero, don’t you? Just what you’ve always wanted.”

 

Poe couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but something felt off about his lover’s ardent declaration. True, he’d always enjoyed being a hero. The fact he was soon to announce the capture of the galaxy’s most notorious and powerful war criminal (okay, technically it was a surrender, but “capture” sounded more… heroic) was still supremely satisfying. That he got to have his hero cake while eating Hux’s ass too was icing on the galactic glory dessert. He paused in thought, frowning. Where was he? He’d gotten sidetracked with his cake metaphor and forgo-- oh yes! Cake and ass aside, there was something very off about the outcome of this strange alliance between himself and the Huxperor in Chief.

 

“Stop thinking so hard,” said Hux, sneering. “You’ll get wrinkles and then instead of blowing you I’ll have to blow you up.”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

Hux smiled. “Now come here and give Daddy a kiss before he opens his intergalactic highway.”

 

***

 

“My fellow Galactic Citizens!” shouted the Huxperor, standing atop the Portal Maker. “Today is the end of the old era. The end of a galaxy that acquiesces to Supreme Traitors! At this very moment, in a galaxy far, far away, strong leadership lies in wait of intergalactic intercourse!”

 

Two stormtroopers glanced at each other and snickered.

 

“This fierce machine which you have built, upon which we stand, will bring an end to isolation! Today marks the dawn of a new intergalactic era in which the First Order and the Milky Way come together in a glorious union! FIRE THE PORTAL!!”

 

The machine emitted a blinding white light seemingly into thin air, ripping a swirling hole in the very fabric of space and time. The stormtroopers shielded their eyes until the light steadied into a pulsing, sparkling cylindrical shape, still whirling in a hypnotic rhythm.

 

A shadowy, rotund figure stepped through the hissing and crackling portal. He wore a three piece suit, its buttons protesting against his girth. His skin glowed a flourescent orange that matched the Huxperor’s hair. He reached up to adjust the blond toupee that had fallen askew.

 

A grinch-like smile spread over the Huxperor’s face as he extended a hand. “Ah. President Trump. So good to have you here.”

 

“Where’s my tribute?” Trump demanded.

 

“A man who gets right to the point, I see. Very well. We just captured the little minx this morning. As soon as hubby was away.” Hux clapped, signalling two troopers to come forward with a struggling young brunette in a gold bikini and Force blocking restraints.

 

Trump smacked his lips. “Young and married. My favorite.”

 

The troopers pushed her toward the grotesque Earthling, who continued to roll his tongue over his lips.

 

“Your Trumpness will be pleased to hear this one is a rare breed. The last Jedi.” Hux smirked arrogantly.

 

Rey turned her face to the side, gagging at the sight of the Earthling’s jowls. This only encouraged him to pull her, by her chain, closer.

 

“You’ll soon come to appreciate me, dinky Jedi! Huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!”


End file.
